Cupcakes

I work at a school, and I get to experience the simple brilliance of children’s minds there. The things they do in my presence are some of the funniest stories I tell, and I have picked out one that stands out above all the rest for today’s post.

At work I am in charge of the nap room and am the worker who makes sure that the children scheduled to take a nap actually sleep. When they wake up I feed them and we go outside to play with the rest of the children. One particular day was one of the napper’s birthdays and she had brought cupcakes to school to share with her class. Some of the cupcakes were left over and I asked her if it would be alright if she and the two other kids taking a nap could each have a cupcake for snack after they slept. She agreed, so I promised all three a cupcake only if they each fell asleep. Of course with collateral made of cupcakes, those children fell asleep within fifteen minutes.

As promised I each gave them a cupcake when they woke up and the excitement over the chocolaty goodness was very evident on their little faces.

After handing out the cupcakes, I left them at the table as I put the cots back out in the hall outside of the room. This only took about a minute, but when I came back into the room, the sight that greeted me was one of absolute hilarity.

I walked to the table, stifling my laughter behind my hand, and sat down. I looked at the boy who had already finished his cupcake, the evidence of its destruction on his face and a crumbly wrapper lying on the table. He was happy as can be, the frosting all around his mouth as if he had tried eating the cupcake in one bite by shoving it up against his face and chewing whatever he could.

“Was the cupcake good?” I asked after a while. He nodded. The two girls were looking at him curiously as they ate their cupcakes much slower. I watched him and remembered how he was telling me his favorite animal was a hippopotamus and how funny he sounded when he said it so I asked him again what his favorite animal was just so I could hear him say it.

This developed to me asking him what his favorite color was.

He sat there and thought about it for a while.

What actually came out of his mouth, well let’s just say that I should’ve expected it.

After I ceased laughing the hardest I think I ever had in my life, I asked him, “So your favorite color is chocolate?” just for confirmation.

What happened next was more unexpected than the first. He looked at me with an outraged and confused expression on his face as if I were some crazy woman and said,

The end

Top 5 Embarrassing Stories

Since this will be my fifth post, I thought it appropriate to do a top five story, so today you will be getting five deliciously embarrassing stories from my past.

5. The bicycle and the moon

   

This story I will always remember as I have a scar to remind myself of this day. It was fall when I was eleven years old and all of my so called friends that lived in the neighborhood where I lived had crossed the main road, knowing that I wasn’t allowed to do so myself, and left me to ride my bike alone up and down the road I lived off of. 

Even the seven year old got to cross the street before I could!

As I rode up and down I was cursing their livers and splines to Hell and back for leaving me alone to play with myself. After I had uttered every foul word my mind could come up with, I began to feel poetic and melancholy and looked up into the sky as my legs continued the repetitious motion of peddling my bicycle. What I saw in the sky astounded me. There was the moon resting in the sky at four in the afternoon! If you are having trouble believing that I have yet to see the moon during the day time, I assure you that this was the first time in my life that I had. As I stared up at the moon an overwhelming urge to run into the house and grab some binoculars and inspect this moon came over me, so without taking my eyes off of the moon I turned my bicycle into my driveway. I must’ve taken the turn too sharply because before I knew what was going on, I was on the ground my body awkwardly crushed underneath my bicycle. I jumped back up as quickly as I could, brushing myself off and wiping away the blood that appeared on my right knee. From inside my house I could hear what sounded like people dying. I ran up to my porch and looked in my house through the front windows to see my mother and father clutching their sides and laughing the hardest I think they’ve ever laughed in their lives, pointing at me and mouthing words that came out as haggard raspy breaths. Now every time I see a daytime moon I glare at it remembering the time my parents were the cause of my accident in the first place by preventing me from following my friends and then laughing at me.

4. Skirt down

Have you ever accidentally showed your underwear to an auditorium of people? Well, I have, and let me tell you this, it’s pretty damn cold. I was in a show at the time in my freshman year and the whole cast and crew was sitting in the auditorium seats as we received notes from our director on how our performance went that day. I had borrowed some jazz pants from a friend, and in my impatience to get out of there sooner, I thought it would be best to put on the skirt I wore to school that day over the pants and then take the pants off and give them back to their owner. The first part of the plan went fine, but as I was pulling off the pants, a huge breeze brushed past my butt. I looked down and saw that my skirt had gotten caught on the pants as I was taking them off and that everyone around me was looking at my purple underwear. Mortified I pulled up my skirt and sat down as the director, who hadn’t noticed, continued on giving notes to the cast.

3. Kindergarten cupid

On the very first day of school I was walking to my class alone. I was pretty independent and all the other kids had their mom’s with them or their dad’s looked at me as if I was crazy. As I walked alone I noticed another kid who was alone and on the way to his class. Back then I was cute and knew it, so I smiled at him and he smiled back as we passed each other. He was super cute, and I had a crush on him already and turned my head to look back at him as I continued to walk down the hall. He was doing the same thing, and my little brain that had been fed Disney princess movies was already working in overdrive. Before I could imagine our beautiful wedding where candy was the main course and we all danced and caught fireflies as the main entertainment I ran headlong into a teacher. She apologized and began walking me to my class. I looked back at the boy again and he was laughing to himself as he walked into his classroom. I believe that because of that traumatizing moment in my youth, I have never been able to charm a boy, and always associate laughter with flirting and crack way too many jokes for the guy to think of me more than just a funny girl who’s great at being a good friend.

2. Nosebleed horror

My very first boyfriend and I were making out for the first time in a secluded corner in a hallway at school when we were both supposed to be doing something else. As we were kissing I felt something wet sliding from my nose, and I thought that it was snot, so I tried to quietly sniff my nose to clear it, but it wouldn’t work. Finally I was tasting something salty and I backed up from him and felt my face and saw blood on my fingers. I closed my nose quickly and apologized and ran from him. He was pretty cool about it, but I had nightmares about it for at least a week.

1. “I’m UGLY!”

It was my junior year and I was at my youth group’s lock in at my church. It was three in the morning and we had scheduled games to play, so that we could all make it through the night. The second game we played should have been botched at the first meeting, but somehow it had snuck past my over organized and stress denying friend J. The way the game was played was two people were blindfolded and placed on opposite sides of the gym from each other and spun around to make them lose their sense of direction. The two people had to find each other with their blindfolds on by judging the noise level of the crowd. If the crowd was yelling loudly, the two were close to finding each other, if they were dead silent, they were nowhere near finding each other. Well after the first two groups went, I wanted a turn with my friend so they did the beginning procedure and off we went trying to find each other. Now let me tell you something. I have the meanest, cruelest, and most vile friends for doing this to me. I was unaware of this at the time, but they had taken the blindfold off of my partner, so I was looking around the gym for her for about five minutes, and when I would’ve found her a few times, she just skirted out of the way. Finally, my blood boiling from the lack of finding my friend, I start running. Now I know this is not the best idea in the world, but the more I ran the louder the crowd was getting, so I thought I was getting pretty close to her. In my mind I’m thinking, Dawn, since you are running, it would be a good idea to put your hands out in front of you in case you hit a wall, so just as I am halfway through the motion of outstretching my arms, BAM! I fall to the ground in pain since my pinki was crushed between my body and the wall and I feel something sand like in my mouth and bits of tooth. I spit them out and feel my two front teeth in horror. A half moon shape of my teeth had been crushed by the impact of them and the wall. I turn around and look at the crowd who are all staring at me in complete shock and all I can think of in that moment is how horrendous I must look to them so I yell out to J who is running at me, “I’m UGLY!” I get up calmly and look at the wall. I missed the safety blue pads on the wall by one foot. There is a chip in the cement wall from where I collided with it on that night. I took it all very well and only burst out crying whenever I thought of how my dad would react to this news.

There you have it! My top five embarrassing stories to date, and I’m pretty sure there are many more to come.

Lorem Morbus

I have this friend Kelsey, and before I can go into the story, I have to give you some background on this great friend of mine. Every Wednesday I would go over to her house after school because we would go to the youth group together, and after it was over her mom would take me home. School ended around 2:15, but we usually had play practice that lasted until five, so Kelsey and I would troop to her house and we usually had two and a half hours to do whatever we wanted (we didn’t like to work on our homework much). Since I didn’t have the internet at home, this was my only time to watch videos that I wanted to watch on my own. Kelsey had different ideas.

Something you need to understand about my friend Kelsey is that I’m pretty sure she wishes that she was Asian. Whenever our school had an Asian foreign exchange student, she would form a friendship with them right away. I blame the two Pam’s for what they did to her, and what they were unintentionally doing to me every Wednesday night.

Whenever I got onto the internet at Kelsey’s house, I would go watch funny Harry Potter videos. Since she had gotten her own laptop, I was free to watch whatever I wanted on the home computer. Even though I had a computer at my disposal, this did not stop Kelsey from saying after two minutes into my hilarious parody video, “hey look at this, it’s so funny,” while turning my attention to her own computer.

The first time this occurred I was naïve of what I was to be shown, but once I saw it, I wasn’t quite sure what to think. I was shown a thirteen member boy band from Korea. I could not understand a word of what they were saying, and half of them had the ugliest hairstyles I have ever seen. I tried to be nice though, and I sat through the entire video. This was a mistake. I had no idea that what had happened to my friend was indeed a very serious situation. I was innocently being polite and showing a polite lack of interest in what she was showing me, but inside her brain were steaming cogs and wheels turning faster and faster at the thought of me actually liking what I saw. I really am making my friend sound crazy and I assure that she is not. She is merely a victim of what I call Lorem Morbus, otherwise known as the K-Pop disease.

Before I can start informing you of this disease and how it works, I have to tell you of how I became infected myself. Yes, I will admit that K-Pop has somewhat taken over my life and many other girls and guys (they do exist in guy form, but they are very rare, much like a Squib in the wizarding world, they just don’t fit in at all) all over the world. Yes, the world. People love K-Pop, myself included.

A little over two years ago when Kelsey showed me my first K-Pop video, I was far from interested. No, that isn’t accurate. I hated it. I could not get through a Harry Potter puppet pals video without being interrupted by Kelsey. Upon seeing that I wasn’t impressed by the skills of the boys and girls in the various music videos she showed me, she went for a different approach. There is a Canadian couple currently residing in South Korea, and they make videos about the culture there, K-Pop included, and they came up with some very funny interpretations of some of the K-Pop dances that were shown in the music videos of that year. The one Kelsey showed me was the interpretation of Super Junior’s Sorry Sorry. I had never laughed so hard at something so ridiculous because I thought that the couple were making fun of the dance like I was, but I was wrong. They liked the song, and the dance. I was confused, but I kept thinking about how the dance moves were so funny so I kept making Kelsey go back and play it over and over again. Before I knew it, I was doing the dance myself. The next day in school, the song was stuck in my head.

“Sorry sorry sorry sorry, naege naege naege michu michu,” I kept singing quietly to myself. Until Kelsey caught me and smiled. A week passed and the damn song was still an ear worm. Everywhere I kept doing the dance and singing the song. Kelsey had broken through the first wall. She had succeeded and I was obliviously unaware of what was happening to me. What started out as an innocent desire to learn the funny dance was turning into something much worse, and because I did not know, I was unable to put up defenses against it. Because I didn’t have internet at home, I was waiting for the next Wednesday where we could watch more funny K-Pop dance videos, and that was exactly what we did, but that wasn’t enough for Kelsey. I was slowly being taught the names of the thirteen member boy band Super Junior because of my obvious obsession with their song.

And then it happened. The final blow. While watching Super Junior’s U, I saw him. The most beautiful Korean I had ever seen.

“And that’s Hangeng but we call him Hannie,” Kelsey said pointing at a guy who had an odd expression on his face.

 A few seconds go by, and a different guy starts singing.

“GO BACK! GO BACK RIGHT NOW!”

“Okay okay,” Kelsey says excitedly. “To where?”

“2:03!” I shout completely driven insane for a few minutes. “He’s beautiful,” I sigh.

“Who Hannie?”

“No way!” I snatch the computer away and pause on his face. “No this one.”

“Ahhh the fish,” she says nodding her head approvingly.

“What?”

“Donghae, but because his name means East Sea, everyone calls him Fishy,” she said. I wasn’t really listening though. I replayed the part where he sang over and over again.

From that point I was a goner. I watched every music video of Super Junior just to look for him. I was insane. It was thrilling and exciting and I wasn’t quite sure what was happening to me, but before I knew it, I was given a cd with their music and singing Korean, well trying to, wherever I drove. Then Wednesdays at Kelsey’s ended and I lost interest in it.

A year later I was reminded about it, and Super Junior had released three new music videos by that time, and I was hooked once more, but this time it didn’t go away. I was watching Eat Your Kimchi on youtube, and educating myself on other K-Pop bands. Fishy, or Donghae, was my number one. I would gain crushes on other guys in other boy bands, but he was the one I loved first, and I believed I always would. It wasn’t until I was crying because I knew I was so emotionally invested in K-Pop but knew that I would never meet any of them that I realized what had happened to me. I had been infected by Lorem Morubs and was now a full-fledged disease carrier.

Lorem Morbus- (n). 1. disease derived from excessive fangirling over K-Pop.

Signs of syptoms:

1.     Demonstrating outward signs of Korean pop song and dance in public.

2.     Setting time aside from more important tasks for the watching of K-Pop

3.     Dreaming/fantasizing about meeting ANYONE from the Korean Pop world.

4.     Over emotional outbursts concerning K-Pop, for example, fits of rage that you weren’t born Korean, uncontrolled sobbing sprees over male K-Pop number one.

5.     Believing that one day you will meet ANYONE from the K-Pop world. This one is similar to number three, however, this one describes pure and innocent childish belief that one day you will meet anyone from the K-Pop world.

Discerning a diagnogsis:

If you can answer yes to three of these questions, it is safe to say that you are in fact infected with Lorem Morbus.

1.     Can you identify by name seven of the thirteen member boy band Super Junior? Excluding Ryewook. He is too easy to remember.

2.     How members of BigBang have their own solo albums?

3.     Do you have an absolute favorite male K-Pop singer/rapper that you adore more than anyone else in the world?

4.     Do you know the dance for Super Junior’s ‘Sorry Sorry’?

5.     Do you save up money just for K-Pop related purchases?

6.     Is your idea of a good day one where you spend all day watching K-Pop videos?

7.     Has Taeyang ever made you say and think inappropriate things? *cough Kelsey cough*

8.     Do you have a strong desire to learn the Korean language?

Dealing with your disease:

It is a perfectly capable disease to live with, and no one known has ever died from the disease, but girls have been known to do very silly things. As long as a healthy K-Pop diet is enforced along with at least two hours a day set aside for fangirling, the disease will never grow unbearable unless you have a terrible fit of stage four (syptom four) where you cry for hours about not being able to meet your number one. It is advised that no girl ever wavers from this plan to sustain prime health, as it is proven that she will emotionally break down, and a full day, sometimes entire weekend of K-Pop fangirling is required to get her back on her feet again.

Cure:

1.     Marriage of your number one to any girl that is NOT you. I have never seen this happen as I know that no K-pop males have been wed, but when that fateful day comes and the first one gets hitched, I believe the flood gates of Hell will be opened, and all other K-Pop males will follow suit. On that day, girls prepare yourself, or look for a cure so the pain of not being chosen by your number one is never felt.

2.     Being cut off from all sources of media where you can enable your disease. In an apocalyptic world state I believe that we will have other more important worries on our minds than if we are going to meet our number one or not.

Outright knowledgeable infecting of others:

This happens regularly among girl friend groups. When one comes down with the disease, it is most likely that three out of four girls will become infected as well. Recent studies show that four out of four is soon to be the new statistic.

Movies vs. Reality

Being a girl, I love to watch movies. I’m not picky about movies either. I’ll watch anything, but because I am a girl, I do like the ones that make me cry. This does not just include tragic movies. Oh no. I can cry over anything that moves me. There’s a baby involved? I’m done for. Cute pokemon almost dies three times? I’m a weeping wreck.

Even though I am most definitely a crier, and I can and will cry at anything that moves me, this really only happens when two lovers are being separated from each other either by any means. I really do love those movies like The Notebook and Sense and Sensibility, but while they provide wonderful crying opportunities for me, they are a bit unrealistic. From rain, to more rain, and even some more rain, movies like to make up silly ridiculous romantic scenes, and have ignorant girls like me believe that that would actually be a fun thing to do. Allow me to show you how.

1). Confessing undying devotion and love to each other in the rain.

You see this one in The Notebook, Pride and Prejudice (only Mr. Darcy’s confession, of course), and from many other tear jerking films. Even though this looks romantic and beautiful on screen, this one is a load of waffle. Have you ever stood out in the rain before? Without an umbrella? I have, and let me tell you that it was one of the most unpleasant days of my life. I was at the fair with a friend that decided he didn’t want to be there anymore and left me in the rain. My mother was told to come get me at a certain time and alas I had an hour to go before she was to come get me. I tried to stay out of the rain but there was nowhere to go without being pelted on. Eventually when my mother turns up, I look like a drowned rat, so even though movie rain is romantic, I would rather be listening to a heartfelt confession inside a dry place thank you very much. This goes along with kissing in the rain. Just a no thanks from me.

2). Falling back onto snow.

This one scene occurs in the most terrible and annoying movie Love Story. I pride myself on saying that I did NOT cry during this movie. It was the worst seventies acting I have ever seen. Anyway back to the moment. Main girl Jenny tells main guy Oliver that she loves him while they study. Scene cuts to Oliver standing outside with snow on his head and then suddenly he laughs and falls backward onto the snow. Jenny laughs and does the same thing. I was a bit curious about this one since we all have layed down in the snow to make a snow angel, so I tried it out on my own. I don’t know about you but falling backwards onto the snow is a sure way to get snow in your pants and shirt. Just sayin’.

3). Dancing romantically with someone you just met (and flying around on the bumble)

This one I fell for as a small child. Obviously I knew that I couldn’t fly around with a fairy on his pet bumblebee like Thumbelina, but I wanted someone that I didn’t know to come into my room and take me out for a dance and come back the next day baring gifts and proposing marriage. I’m amazed that we have all survived from the cartoons our parents allowed us to watch. I’m not hating on cartoons either. I know I will let my future children watch Thumbelina, I mean she’s the voice of Ariel for God’s sake.

4). Being held ransom in a castle by a Beast.

This one’s pretty self-explanatory. Really girls? Really? He’s not even good looking when he changes back into Prince form. I’d take captain Shang any day, but that’s probably because I have yellow fever.

OR

Oh yeahhhh ;P

5). Being stalked by a vampire.

I admit that when I read the book I was totally into Edward Cullen. I was so excited for the movie to come out that I went to the midnight showing with my good friend A, also know as muh woman. As I excitedly watched the sulky emo Edward try to curb his desire to suck Bella’s blood, I realized that this guy is the king of creepers. Watching her while she slept eh? At first it was cute when I imagined it, but upon seeing you standing in her bedroom watching her have a nightmare, yeah cute flew out the window. Sorry Twilight fans, but you are all in love with Creepy Creeperton on Creepyville. I’d rather spend a day with the boy who lived.

Whoever finds this attractive, well, I can only shake my head at you.

Toilet Monsters

As a child growing up I wasn’t afraid of the dark much, in fact as I slept I preferred there to be no light filtering in from the cracks of closet doors or from a nightlight in the corner of the room. I believed at my young age that it would be better not to see the attacker that came after me in the night, if one ever did and of course I was never harmed by a boogie monster. If I could see the attacker then I would be thoroughly more scared of sleeping at night. I didn’t develop this thinking until I was about ten, but nevertheless, I lost any childish fear of the dark.

One fear that I never seemed to get over was one that I always thought was ridiculous, but I couldn’t help myself from feeling anxiety, and that was going to the bathroom at night. Why, you ask? Well I shall tell you. I believe that somewhere in the bowels of every house’s plumbing, there lives a terrible toilet monster that wishes to scare you by splashing water on your cold bum or by poking you as you just relax yourself enough to do your business.

I would wake up in the middle of the night from the need to pee. Knowing that I don’t like to be alerted by an attacker by turning on the light, I stumble to the bathroom. This happens regularly in my household. Once I blindly make my way to the bathroom I prepare myself for the deed to be done only to pause slightly over the bowl as my fears creep up inside of me. I wait there for what seems to be a minute but I know is only ten seconds (I go through this same ordeal and motions of thinking at least once a week).

I know that what happens next can only go two ways:

1). I take a brave plunge for the seat and hope that nothing attacks me from the bowels of my plumbing as I do my business.

OR

2). I turn on the light in the bathroom to check that there is no evil creature lurking in the toilet.

The only problem with option number two is that I am triggering my fear of seeing an attacker by turning on the light, and more often than not, the fear I have of actually seeing a murky water dwelling creature that likes to traumatize bathroom business overrides my fear of being attacked by one, so I almost always choose option number one.

I know that this may seem a terribly ridiculous fear, and for a long time (about nine years) I was embarrassed about it, but then one day I asked my friend if she ever experienced the same fear. She looked at me funny at first and then went into a truly shocking tale that frogs would swim up into their toilet from the sewer and sometimes attack her while she did her business. As I stared at her in shock, I could only think, “Thank God I’m not crazy.”

Fear of toilet monsters LEGITIMIZED!!!!

The Crazy Things I Have Done for Harry Potter Part One

Before I get to the funny stuff, I would like to introduce myself, since this is my first post of this blog. My name is Dawn, and I am, for lack of another word, hyperactive. My friends would probably describe me as hysterical, extreme, loud, outgoing, an obsessed Harry Potter and K-Pop lover, and passionate. I would agree that this is all very true.

One thing that people need to understand about me is that Harry Potter is a big part of my life. I am apart of the generation that grew up with the series, and I love it as if it were a dear friend. That being said, I have gone to many lengths to prove just how much that series means to me. These are only a few compilations of what I have done for Harry Potter, but they are the most recent, and the ones I can think of off the top of my head.

1). I have two great friends J and Z, and they are my two main friends that I talk about Potter with. When Pottermore was still giving out early access to a specific worthy few, we all made a plan to refresh the page to see when the clue was posted on the website so that we could gain an early place to get onto Pottermore before the rest of the world. J, our technical support, had found a quick way to figure out the answer of the clue and we were all supposed (I had skipped over this step, telling myself that I would screw it up if I tired) to use if we were the one's that were on the site when the clue was posted. We had all decided to stay up and refresh the page in shifts. J took the first shift staying up until three, while Z would take over and stay up until seven when I would take over. It was all agreed that whoever was awake when the clue came out that they would call the other two and wake them up and tell them the answer to the clue (I had missed this step as well). It was on Z's shift when the page came out with the clue. I remember hearing my phone buzzing and thinking, what the hell? and then literally jumping out of bed.

"Hello? Hello? Is it up, is the clue up?"

"Yeah, it's up," Z said sounding tired but excited.

"Okay, okay, I'm going right now," I said promptly hanging up the phone.

I ran to get my laptop, and rushed to the internet hot spot to ensure prime loading capabilities. I booted it up and rushed to the site and read the clue.

The world seemed to have crashed around me in that moment. I had no idea what the answer was and instead of thinking about the searching for the answer the way J showed us, I sat there and stared at the screen forlorn. I snatched up my phone and held onto it like it was a lifeline. I frantically waited for one of the other two to tell me the answer.

Then like Moses leading his people through the red sea, Z texts me the answer. The affection that soared through my soul at the moment was unbearable. It was thanks to him that I got into Pottermore early.

So at five in the morning, I'm screaming excitedly and running around my house accidentally squashing my cat all because of Harry Potter.

2). I regret this horribly now since all of the Borders have closed or are closing for good, but there is quite a fierce hatred among Potter fans vs. Twilight fans. I went into Borders to go look at the Harry Potter merchandise they had. I searched high and low, all over the store and only found the books, but over in the youth fiction section there was a whole partial dedicated to Twilight. I stared at the wall full of multiple copies of the hated books as if they were cancer. In a fit of rage I stormed out of the store saying to the clerks as I passed, "I'll show you for ignoring the boy who lived!" and proceeded to never enter another Borders until they were having their going out of business sale. I warned them not to fuck with the boy who lived and side with the traitor Diggory.

3). For my eighteenth birthday I had a party themed all around Harry Potter. I had set up the Great Hall in my back yard, and had an HP cake for the occasion. I sorted all of my friends and as we were all sitting at our house tables, the pizza man arrives.

"What the?" the pizza man says to my father. All my father can do is smile. The pizza man leaves my house muttering under his breath something that sounded awfully like 'freaks'

4). I befriended a ginger just so I could bring him to the last HP movie premiere. I have not talked to him since mostly because he thinks me and my friends are all crazy

5). I am a talker during movies especially during an HP movie. SPOILER ALERT! DON'T READ ON IF YOU'VE NOT SEEN THE LAST HP MOVIE OR READ THE LAST HP BOOK! Even though you should have by now if you are reading this. Seriously, do it already or you need to wear a sign that tells of your ignorance. In the last movie after Harry comes into possession of the elder wand, he is, according to the book, supposed to use the wand to fix his old one that was broken in the last movie. Instead of doing that, the audience and I are growing uneasy because it looks as if Harry is about to snap the elder wand! Everyone is moving in their seats uneasily, the hardcore fans like myself are all whispering, fix your wand! With a crack he snaps the elder wand. The audience is silent in their shock at this blatant disregard for the main plot line. I am so upset that I say "God dammit." The crowd erupts in laughter at my tension break.

That's only a few of the crazy things I have done for Harry Potter, but many others like cutting out Ron's face on wrapping paper and plastering his face all over my wall when I was twelve will be talked of later on.

Cheers!